Many years ago, I recall sitting with a newly married couple in their late thirties, who were struggling with making their marriage work after many years on the NY singles scene. Sitting with them, before I could start the conversation on a more positive note, the husband began to describe why he was upset with his wife and what she was doing wrong in his eyes. Every minute his wife would interrupt him to express what she felt her husband was doing wrong from her perspective. After a few minutes I tried to get them to speak with one another with an eye towards eventually getting them to share what each felt they themselves needed to work on, instead of directing their comments to me. But try as I might ,they would not speak with each other nor even look at each other which was obviously (though I am by no means a professionally trained therapist
