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Why is Life So Difficult? Making peace with our battle In this week's portion, Jacob asks for peace and relaxation, but G-d had another plan. “Jacob settled (down) in the land of his father's dwellings, in the Land of Caanan.” - Genesis 37:2 The foremost commentator, Rashi, explains: Jacob wanted to settle down in tranquility but then the ordeal of his son Joseph (sale into slavery) fell upon him. The righteous seek to dwell in tranquility but G-d says 'Is it not enough for the righteous what has been prepared for them (reward) in the World to Come that they need to seek tranquility also in this world!'" Some people turn to G-d and religion, hoping to find refuge from all the turbulence of life, from doubt, from inner conflicts and mental turmoil. They want instant inner peace, spiritual contentment, and tranquility for their troubled souls. According to Kabbalah, that is not the purpose of life on earth. In fact, it is just the opposite. We have...

The vision of what it would mean to command men, was evaporating before my eyes. Two weeks after completing IDF Officer’s course, I had been looking forward to the challenges of mission control, decisions under extreme stress, and leading by example, but these two young conscripts, one of whom had only recently completed his eight months of basic infantry and tank crew training, presented me with nothing of the sort. They were arguing over an ammo cartridge, each claiming it to be his, and with a gear inspection coming up in the morning, this somehow became significant as neither wanted to fail the inspection. I had made the mistake of telling my squad, on the first day I met them, that they should feel free to share with me any problem they had, no matter how small, and I was fast regretting the decision. It wasn’t even a case of one claiming the other stole it, rather, the cartridge had...

Real Love Means Embracing Conflict The Secret of Jacob The Torah (Bible) teaches us that Jacob went to the house Laban, his uncle, and dwelt there for many years. He married Rachel and Leah, Laban's daughters, and had eleven sons there. After years of struggling with Laban constantly deceiving him he finally left to return home and face Esau who hated him. In the middle of the night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two handmaids and his eleven sons, and sent them across the Jabbok River shallows. After he had taken them and sent them across, he also sent across his possessions. Jacob alone remained on the other side of the river. It was there that the famous "stranger" appeared and wrestled with him until just before daybreak: When the stranger saw that he could not defeat him, he touched the upper joint of Jacob's thigh. Jacob's hip was dislocated as he wrestled with him. "Let me leave!" said...

A small mutzav (fortified position) on the Qasmsiyeh Bridge deep in the IDF security zone in Lebanon and far from the border and Hezbollah, until the IDF, as part of a gradual withdrawal, pulled back below the Awali River. Overnight, this unit of Hesdernikim (boys who combine their army service with yeshiva study committing to five years of service rather than the normal three years) found themselves on the front lines and things started heating up. Firefights, midnight ambushes, and roadside bombs became the norm, and morning roll calls and pre-mission briefings took on a whole new meaning. On March 19, 1985, Hezbollah terrorists opened up on one of the patrols as they crossed the Qasmsiyeh Bridge and Dani Moshitz and David Cohen ob”m, were both killed. Just a few days earlier, as part of their efforts to stay one step ahead of the enemy who clearly had a ‘home court’ advantage, they tried to change up their patrol routes...

Your Place or Mine? Living in the Arms of Love Jacob runs for his life to Charan because his brother Esau was out to kill him. The Bible records that on his way “he reached the place and spent the night there ... and lay down to sleep.” (Genesis 28:11) The Midrash –the Jewish Oral Tradition-- interprets “the place” to mean “G-d.” G-d is “The Place” because according to the Kabbalah He made space within Himself for creation and always holds us all within His loving embrace. Therefore, His loving presence is our ground, context and place. Thus, it states: Why do we refer G-d as “The Place?” Because He is the Place of the world (i.e. we exist within G-d) ... G- d is the dwelling place of the world... Jacob lived this truth. He always defined himself and his actions within the context of G-d. Therefore, even though Jacob lay down in a physical place, He experienced himself exiting within the arms G-d’s loving...

When I was in Officer’s course, we had a Battalion Commander named Eyal, who made an indelible impression on me. A Kibbutznik from the Golan, he was a rather short fellow, of slight build, not exactly the image of the mighty war hero. But he was one of those men who had been there; he was a veteran of the Yom Kippur war, and during the first week of the course he told us a story that came with a challenge. He had actually been stationed down along the Suez Canal when the war broke out and was part of a company of British-made Centurion tanks caught in the catastrophic Egyptian advance deep into the Sinai. At that point he was still a tank driver with the rank of private first class, so his position was in the driver’s compartment. In order for the turret to rotate, the driver sits in a compartment separate from the rest of the crew,...

Selfishly Selfless The Way To Self Actualization Judaism teaches that no character trait is absolutely negative, everything has a role. All we have to do is look at each trait with an open mind and determine the pluses and the minuses. When it comes to pride there is an aspect of it that comes from the godly grandeur of our soul and is therefore truly self-affirming. But there is an aspect of pride that comes from our ego which is self-destructive, alienating us from our true inner self. This type of pride focuses on selfish concerns and social status; it embodies a desire for honor and one-upmanship. This type of pride confuses us to think that as an individual soul we stand independent and apart from the greater collective soul of the community. According to Jewish mysticism this kind of pride is self destructive because in essence our individual self is really an aspect of the collective soul of the community. We...

At the end of every command-course in the Israeli army, a questionnaire known as a Socio-Metric test, is given to each cadet which has to be filled out. It’s a pretty simple form: each soldier is asked to list five fellow cadets, in order of priority, whom they would choose to lead their unit, and five fellow cadets, also in order of preference, whom they would not want leading their unit. No-one is permitted to leave the form blank; it’s a pre-requisite for graduating the course (not to mention getting out of the army that ShabbatJ.) I recall finding this difficult; especially at the end of Officers’ course, literally the day before we were all meant to get our bars. There was actually a cadet who had been with me in Commanders’ (Sergeant’s) course who was not accepted to officer’s course, even though he had one of the highest scores in our course, was extremely intelligent, and was clearly cool under pressure,...

Making Every Day Count The Key to Making Life Worth Living One day as I was waiting for a friend, an old woman sits down next to me. Suddenly she jumps out of her seat, turns to me and yells, "I should have never left Mexico!" I look at her and ask, "When did you leave Mexico?" "Thirty years ago!" she cries. "And I regret it every single day of my life!" You would think that after 30 years a person would finally get used to where they were. But people often live in the past. One of my students, age 28, told me that his father insulted him when he was age 12 and till this day he continues to feel hurt and angry. I explained to him that although his father hurt him when he was twelve he has allowed his father to continue to hurt him for another sixteen years by holding on to the pain and constantly remembering it. I suggested...

Quiet; the sweet serene quiet of deep sleep; and exhaustion; exhaustion that is so deep you don’t even realize you are sleeping; you are away, somewhere, in your dream world experiencing life as you would perhaps love it to be. You are comfortably warm and snuggly under your blankets or in your sleeping-bag; and then all that peace and serenity comes to an abrupt halt. Shouting and yelling; darkness turning into abrupt harsh light; sleeping bags and blankets thrown off and the bitter cold immediately pervading every aspect of your being. Worst of all, you have exactly seven minutes from the time the guard is told to wake everyone up, to be standing in rows in your uniform on the parade ground with boots laced and buttons closed, ready for anything; for a new day of hell. We were perhaps a few weeks into basic infantry training in the IDF, and of all the horrible, sadistic systems they employed to break us and...